Eva The Doll

Hi everybody!

Some of you may know that I once played onstage with a band. I'd like to explain how this unique event came about.

I was walking through the woods one day, when I heard a strange, gurgling, bubbling sound. Startled and intrigued, I carefully approached the source of this unsettling noise.

Peeking from behind a tree, I saw a monster sitting upon a log! It was shaking its head back and forth, burying its face in its hands. His head was covered in tentacles and they seemed to writhe with each bubbling noise it made. Although I was scared at first, I kept watching it, and soon realized that it was CRYING!

I had no idea monsters could cry; I felt sympathetic, and although I was frightened, I gathered up the courage to approach him.

"Um..." I began. The monster immediately looked up at me, and it took every ounce of my courage to keep from running away. "Are... are you okay?"

"Who are you?" asked the monster in a deep, bubbling voice.

"I'm Eva the Doll," I replied. "I was walking along looking for wild flowers, and I heard you crying. Are you alright?"

The monster looked genuinely surprised upon hearing my words. "You... you're not afraid of me?" he asked hesitantly.

I swallowed and replied, "Well... I admit, I was scared at first, but then I heard you crying, and I felt bad for you."

The monster seemed touched. "That's very kind of you, Eva. Thank you." It flicked tears from the ends of its tentacles, and continued. "I'm sad because I'm scheduled to perform in concert tonight, but my band members all quit at the last minute! This is a catastrophe, what am I to do?"

"Why did your bandmates quit?" I asked.

"Well, it was various reasons for each of them," replied the monster. "One of them said he wasn't into the music anymore...

another said that he wanted to take up macramé as a full-time career... and the third guy, well..."

"Yes?" I asked.

"We kind of got into an argument, and..." he trailed off.

"And...?" I encouraged.

"Well, um... I kind of ate him," admitted the monster.

"Oh dear!" I exclaimed.

"Oh, don't be alarmed; he certainly had it coming," the monster reassured me.

"Oh my," I said.

"Honestly, he deserved it," continued the monster.

"Um, anyway," I said, changing the subject. "What will you do now?"

"I have no idea," sighed the monster, resting his head in his hands, fingers and tentacles intertwining. "I have all this equipment and no one to operate it. Many electrical devices--- drum machines, keyboards, a theremin..."

"I know how to play keyboards," I offered. "Perhaps I could help you?"

"Really?" said the monster, looking up at me. "You'd really help me?"

"Of course," I said. "And I know a girl who can also play keyboards."

"Splendid!" exclaimed the monster, rising to its feet.

"But," I hesitated. "You must make me a promise."

"What might that be?" asked the monster.

"No matter what happens," I lectured sternly, "you must not eat either one of us."

"It's a deal!" he agreed. "Now then, let's meet your friend and begin rehearsals."

*******************

"Oh, Astrid!" I called down the hall. "Come into the parlour, there's someone I want you to meet!"

"Coming!" Astrid replied, as she skipped quickly into the room. "Who's our visitor?"

"Astrid, this is---"

"AHHHH!!!" she screamed, bringing her clenched fists up to her mouth in shock. "A MONSTER!!!"

"Astrid, wait," I tried to explain.

"MONSTER MONSTER MONSTER!!!" she screamed as she ran down the hall and out the back door. "AAAIIEEEEE!!!"

"Um..." I said, after an awkward pause. "I'm sorry..."

"Ahhh, don't worry," said the monster. "Happens all the time. Besides, I wouldn't be a very effective monster if nobody was afraid of me!"

"I see," I said. "But... what do we do now?"

Suddenly Raven walked into the room, carrying an old book. Upon spying the monster seated on the divan, she stopped, cocked her head to one side, and asked, "I didn't summon you, did I?"

"Um, no..." replied the monster.

"I found it in the woods," I said.

"Oh! That's a relief," exclaimed Raven. "I'd hate to think that my experiments are conducting themselves!"

*******************

Walking into town, I asked the monster, "Who will be the third musician?"

"How about this guy?" said the monster, as he grabbed a man leaving a false beard shop.

"Hey, what the... ahhhh!" shouted the man, in terror and confusion.

"Be in my band, and I won't eat you," proposed the monster.

"O-o-okay," stuttered the man in agreement.

"Good! It's all settled then," exclaimed the monster cheerfully.

*******************

Before I knew it, we had arrived at the club, set up the instruments, and played our set. The audience was both confused and enthusiastic, and we received quite a bit of applause at the end. What fun! I had never been onstage before. It was really neat!

After the show, the three of us stood outside of the club.

"The show was a success," said the monster with a sigh of relief. "Thanks so much for your help, Eva! And your help too, pal," it added, looking at the man.

"Can I go now?" asked the man hesitantly.

"Sure!" laughed the monster good-naturedly. "Go where ever you like. Oh, and here's your share of the earnings," it said, handing the man fifteen dollars.

The man politely accepted the money, and promptly ran screaming into the night.

"Thanks again!" the monster shouted.

"Well, I certainly had a fun time, and I'm very happy to have helped you out," I said, smiling and bouncing on my heels playfully. I was still very hyper from all the excitement!

"I'm glad!" said the monster. "Hey, if you ever need anything, lemme know."

"Oh!" I exclaimed. "I never learned your name!"

"My stage name is 'Lounge Cthulhu'," it replied. "But my real name is Grbltxhthsphxehthpbksjhxst."

"Ah-ha," I replied with a nod. "Well then, it's late, and I must be going back home. Fare well!"

"Goodnight!" said the monster. "Take care!"

And with that, I skipped all the way back home, told Astrid all about my adventure after calming her down, and went to sleep.